Of New Kids and Crushes
by StarfallGalaxy
Summary: Dib hated the new kid with the passion of a thousand burning suns.


Dib hated the new kid with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

He hated the stupid hair the new kid had, very soft looking and so utterly perfect. He hated his smile, the way it curved up perfectly. He hated the scarless, flawless skin on this hated his laugh, the way his eyes looked and the way this new boy hummed at his desk. He hated his voice, his muscles and he hated, hated, hated where he sat in the classroom.

But most of all, Dib hated that that new boy got along with Zim.

He told himself that it was because the boy could possibly be a potential ally for the tiny Irken in his quest for world domination, but deep down the scrawny nerd knew that wasn't it. They were in high school now, Zim hadn't tried anything in a couple of years and, honestly, the two of them had started an odd sort of friendship. They still fought, but not as brutal as they used to with guns and cannons and handcuffs but playful shoves and slaps. It was nice, one of the nicest things Dib had.

That's why he was feeling so insecure right now.

Dib sat on his bed, his back resting against the wall as the tiny, warm Irken made a nest for himself curled up in the pretzel Dib's legs made. He read from Dib's tablet, holding it above and over his face as he scrolled through several pages of whatever news he had found or military secrets he had dug up. He wore his pink sweater with the words 'Bubblegum B****' on it from last Christmas, a gift from Dib after he had stumbled across it in Hel-Mart and thought of the dumb lizard. The oversized sleeves tumbled down, revealing that gloves were present no longer, but white bandages were. Dib winced when he thought of how the scars that used to be there. Now they were there for a different purpose, however, cuts from the forest deemed 'not fatal' by the PAK meant they had to heal regularly.

Dib smiled at the soft clicking the PAK made, the supposedly 'dangerous' and 'defective' machine being what made Zim Zim, after all.

"What are you smiling at, Dib-monkey?" Zim smirked, his two toed feet kicking the tall human upside the head. "New, perhaps?"

Dib gave a disgusted look, that new kid's name again, "Ew. No. Why the heck would I think of him?"

"Zim has seen you stare," The Irken looked slightly miffed at the word. "At him. Gaz-human told me humans may stare at others when the have crushes upon them. Are you doing the crushing upon New?"

Dib's face turned red. Just what had his sister told her 'best friend'? Did she mention or hint that Dib had a crush on Zim? That was private sibling talk for when things were private and siblinguistic! Or did she just answer one of the insect's many questions? And who told him he'd been staring at New? He was discreet, right? Right?!

"I-If that was true, that means I would have to have a crush on you, r-right?! And how ridiculous does that sound?! Ha-ha-ha-haha!" His face felt too hot, he was going to die or pass out, he wasn't sure which one.

"Oh," Zim's magma eyes dulled a bit, his lekku twitching like they wanted to flatten but they were already sprawled across the bed. "Yes… Zim understands. You humans are picky at choosing mates… "

Dib froze up inside, his heart stopping a bit. Had he said something wrong? Wait ,what if Zim had wanted him to have a crush?! Wait, what if he had ruined his chances?

Meanwhile, Zim sprung back into 'arrogant ass' mode immediately. Fine, if The Dib was not going to crush him, Zim was going to do it to Dib! After all, Gaz had said that what the Irken was feeling was love, right? She wasn't an expert or anything, but Gaz must know her own mating rituals at least! If Dib did not like him, then Zim would force him to!

Yes, a brilliant plan! Dib would become Zim's mate, a worthy mate for Zim. Maybe then this icky feeling the Irk had had since New-thing had come to town would finally go away. He hated the way his rival had started looking at that new kid, the way he used to look at Zim when they were adolescent smeets. Why was the Membrane boy glaring at him that way? That intense gaze was meant for Zim and Zim only! And Irkens always protected what was theirs and only theirs. They did not do this 'sha-ring' humans did.

"But I suppose that's what happens when one is inferior to Zim. Even your mating rituals are icky, swapping fluids and partners. Irkens only mate…," He leaned up as he talked, using his weight to guide Dib onto his back, the blood candies on Dib's face becoming more plentiful when Zim tapped his nose. "Once. It is a bond so powerful Zim has never met a single couple. Most fear it, you know."

"O-oh, really? There's… more to our 'rituals' than fluids, you know!" At the mention of 'mating rituals' his hormones decided to hate him by rushing to an even worse area than his face. "Wh-when two people are together, really together, they do everything together."

"Like what?" Zim's voice was excited, if he did some of 'everything' with Dib maybe they could be mates!

Rage bubbled up from Dib's stomach as he thought of Zim and New doing some of that stuff together. Especially kissing and touching and… Zim having his legs open, waiting for New to come in and…

"Humans hold hands together, they brush up against each other just so they can see if each other is there, they don't eat meals alone, they don't have to cry alone, they don't have to go to the woods alone, they kiss and hug and they don't have to talk to-" Dib clamped his jaw shut, quelling his ramble.

"… but me and you do those things." Zim replied, giving his infamous eye movement.

"N-no,we don't! I-It's different!" Dib squeaked, his red face feeling numb as he felt two soft lekku reflexively brush against his face, his mind working overtime to figure out what-exactly-was different. "W-we…uh… we never kissed!"

Dib did not know what doors he had opened, but when Zim suddenly pinned his wrists to the bed, it was at that moment Dib knew he had fucked up. Zim was straddling him, his antennae high in the air with that smug smirk on his face that the nerdy boy wanted to just rip off. He felt a block of ice in his stomach, knowing what was coming.

"Oh, but we have!" Zim purred in that all-too-knowing voice, his smirk grew wider as he leaned down to whisper in Dib's ear. "Don't you remember the Christmas of Dancing?"

Dib shivered. Of course he remembered that fucked over dance, the crying in the janitor's closet because he wasn't exactly comfortable with Gretchen, her not-so-subtle hints pushing past the limits of his safety zone. Zim coming in, smoking from the buckets of water unceremoniously dropped on his head by Torque Smacky. Words and frustration driving him in a different direction then the usual banter, leaving Zim with a shoulder to lean on and Dib with someone to hold in a perfectly comfortable way, without having to worry about anything like expectations. The night had finished up with an impromptu kiss, one that tasted exotic to both but neither had admitted to asking for it anyway, why are you asking, Gaz?

"D-doesn't matter!" Dib stammered, beads of sweat appearing as he thought of the idea of expectation and the pain of disappointment. "You like New, don't you? S-so why would it matter if-"

Zim didn't wait for him to finish. That scared rabbit expression was too cute,reminding Zim of the good old days when they were the same height. Days spent throwing notes and tussling on the street.

When she walked in, the two were kissing deeply on top of one another. Dib was clinging to the green kid's collar, tugging him closer as he hooked one leg around the other boy's waist. Without wasting time, there was a soft 'click' and when the two looked up in panic she was standing there with the most pleased of expressions.

"If you two are done sucking face and don't want me to send this to Keef," Gaz smirked, her finger hovering over the 'send' button. "I have a little errand for you to run…"


End file.
